I held the door open for a clown the other day ...

Started by Jason H.
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Deleted user

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

The banana wasnโ€™t peeling well ๐ŸŒ.

J

Jason H.

If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep.

It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

J

Jason H.

I just applied for a job down at the diner. I told them I really bring a lot to the table.

J

Jason H.

I'm Buzz Aldrin, second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.

Deleted user

What is a ponyโ€™s favorite juice?

She really likes lemon-neighโ€™d ๐Ÿ‹.

J

Jason H.

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

Deleted user

Why can't you play hockey with pigs?

They always hog the puck ๐Ÿ–.

Deleted user

What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?

Cowboom ๐Ÿ„!

J

Jason H.

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A private tutor.

Deleted user

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash ๐Ÿ’ต.

J

Jason H.

My friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography.

I don't believe him, but that's his story and he's sticking to it.

J

Jason H.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with.

She said yesโ€”the others were 7's and 8's.

Deleted user

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells ๐Ÿ‘ƒ.

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