Deleted user
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
The banana wasn’t peeling well 
.
Money 101
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I held the door open for a clown the other day ...
Started by Jason H.
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J
Jason H.
If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep.
It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Deleted user
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta 
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J
Jason H.
I just applied for a job down at the diner. I told them I really bring a lot to the table.
Deleted user
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch 
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J
Jason H.
I'm Buzz Aldrin, second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.
Deleted user
Why are ghosts bad liars?
You can see right through them 
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J
Jason H.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Deleted user
What is a pony’s favorite juice?
She really likes lemon-neigh’d 
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J
Jason H.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.
Deleted user
What has lots of leaves but never actually grew?
A book 
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J
Jason H.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
Deleted user
Why can't you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck 
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Deleted user
What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom 
!
J
Jason H.
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
A private tutor.
Deleted user
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash 
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J
Jason H.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind. It's tearable.
Deleted user
Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks 
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J
Jason H.
My friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography.
I don't believe him, but that's his story and he's sticking to it.
Deleted user
What does bread do on vacation?
Loaf around 
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K
Katharina R.
lol
J
Jason H.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Deleted user
What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on 
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J
Jason H.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with.
She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Deleted user
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells 
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